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Apr 23, 2011

Ballot box blues

I am deprived and have been struggling to save my composure.   No camera for 10 weeks (thanks for nothing Nikon) and 4 days without the computer (damnable trojan horses).   The computer came home today after 4 days in rehab, so here goes.   The next Canadian national election is to be held on May 2.   My wife and I however voted yesterday in an advance poll.   Today I received the following anecdote from old friend, Barb McGowan.

While walking down the street one day a member of parliament is tragically hit by a truck and dies.   His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven", says St. Peter.   "It seems there is is a problem.   We seldom see a high official around these parts, so we're not sure what to do with you".   "No problem, just let me in", says the man.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up.   What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one day in heaven.   Then you can choose where to spend eternity".   "Really, I've made up my mind.   I want to be in heaven", says the MP.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules".   And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.   The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a golf course.   In the distance, is the clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is happy and in evening dress.   They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had getting rich at the expense of their fellow Canadians.   They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly and nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes.   They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.   Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.   The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit heaven".   So, 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing.   They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven.   Now choose your eternity".   The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before...I mean heaven has been delightful...but I think I would be better off in hell".
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.   He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.   "I don't understand",  stammers the MP. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time.   Now there's a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable".   "What happened?"
The devil looks at him, smiles and says: "yesterday we were campaigning."
Today you voted."
Yikes!   Have I become so old and jaded that this tale prompts a wry laugh?   I need to get out and suck in some fresh air and get back to writing about things that are green, sunny, and bursting with the promise of spring.   Four federal elections in seven years - there aught to be a law.
Please comment if you wish.

1 comment:

effie kadoglou said...

ha,ha the right result for the campaigner or husband says he knows this joke but i don't.why you got a virus?because we search information and take from here and i have an account to Google picasa and Flickr so many messages come to me that i am afraid i catch a virus.and then i'll have to put all data in from the repaired your camera or bought an other?i want a digital but i deny to buy,buy all the time.we have a Panasonic and it is not digital.we'll'throw it away?since they change all the time the compatibility of gadgets....but i want a long.