For quite some time, before my first two grandchildren were born, I vowed that when I did become a grandfather, the little ankle-biters would call me 'Grandpa Jupiter'. I wanted them to be in awe of their towering, thundering grandfather. I wanted them to think of me hurling lightning bolts about and ruling the roost whenever I roared. It did not occur to me that Grandpa Jupiter was a 5-syllable mouthful which any small child would have difficulty with under the best of circumstances. I realized that we'd all have to start with something simpler and humbled myself by suggesting 'Jupa'. Well, young William Henry Harrison Bailey (son of Allison and Rob), and bright lad that he is, seems to be saying Jupa very well. Unfortunately, his cousin, Emondine Clare is struggling with my Jupa moniker. My daughter, Auralee swears that her bright little girl says Jupa all the time, but I've never heard her say it. What I keep hearing her say is 'Goonda'. Now it turns out that Goonda is a Hindi and Urdu term with many, many meanings, such as rascal, ruffian, thug, bully, hooligan, bootlegger, immoral traffic offender(???) and even video-pirate. And this is just scratching the surface. Now I ask you, what are the chances of this sweet, 18-month-old princess corrupting the name Jupa into Goonda all by herself. I'm highly suspicious that her father, who is of East Indian ethnic heritage, has a hand in this. His parents, are horrified that Emmy is going around calling me Goonda. But my son-in-law seems highly amused. I admit to having been rascally on occasion, and I may have sold a case of beer to someone, once, and made a buck or two, but I would never pirate a video...I'm too technologically inept. I'll just have to try much harder with Emmy to master Jupa. I much prefer Barry the Birder, to Barry the Goonda. Meanwhile, I owe her father one.